A few months back I posted about feeling trapped in a dark tunnel; afraid and paralyzed. Time has passed and the relief I feel is overwhelming, because I see the light at the end of the tunnel now. It is still a small light and a great distance away...but at least it's there. I know now, why I'm in the tunnel and what I need to do to get out. There are going to be several steps and many things that I have to prove to myself, but I'm starting to feel excitement as I reach for this light. The truth of the the matter is, I'm really not a depressed person normally. If people were to describe me before, they would say, "happy, go lucky", "sweet-tempered", "fun". So the beginning of the journey starts with "what happened to that girl?"
I think, she found herself in a place where doors were too small, and keys were too big, and white rabbits ran off leaving her behind. She tried to make sense out of a world that had no sense. Because, it wasn't her world to begin with. She didn't belong there.
That is a huge pill to swallow. She didn't belong....Insert long dramatic pause....
So moving through the pain of rejection, not able to fit into this place that she so wanted to call home, nothing she did or said made her welcome...
The epiphany has come...right key, wrong door. Somewhere, there is another door, another house that fits that key....so the key wasn't bad, it shouldn't be disregarded. It simply is waiting to find it's match.
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