Searching for a waterfall, but found a lake instead

Sometimes I do the nuttiest stuff.  I will definitely admit this whole-heartedly.  But most of my crazy adventures come from my over-active imagination and typically don't hurt anyone other than myself and my own ego.  So for this I am often forgiven by my loved ones. Today was one of those days.
I set out on a mission this morning to be active, to be healthy, and to be one with nature.  I love to hike.  Not necessarily too rugged of hiking as I haven't had much experience, but briskly walking in fresh air with plants, trees, and little critters around me makes me feel like I am bursting out of one of my beloved Jane Austen novels.  So after a quick Google search, I found a hiking trail that was a little over a mile and a half long and described as leading to a waterfall that is best viewed during spring.  Well seeing how today was the first day of spring AND my spring break, this sounded like the perfect adventure.  I dropped the kiddos off at school, ran a quick errand and set my Google Maps for my destination.
Now I can tell you that somewhere in my conscience, I noticed the time needed to drive to this trail' s location, and that I considered whether I was crazy for even attempting it...but somewhere logic took a backseat to my desire to frollick amongst the budding of spring, and I remember thinking that as long as I made it back by 2pm to pick up the kiddos from school, I would be fine.
Well somewhere on the side of a mountain on a winding road that made me feel clammy and queasy, I began to wonder about my sanity.  Needless to say I never found the trail as the road dead-ended into a snowbank with a sign that read "road closed until April 1st".  Who knew that Spring didn't officially come to the El Dorado forest until April?  Here is a picture I took after driving out of the snowy parts on my way back:

As I drove back trying to find civilization, thinking of the Donner Party and imagining the lecture that my Mother would be giving me about serial killers who troll the woods looking for hapless females, I felt stupid, ridiculous, and defeated until I made it back to the freeway entrance and cellphone reception.  After 2 hours into my adventure I was determined not to drive back home without stepping one foot out of my car, so I did a quick search for another hiking trail and settled on a spot closer towards the city of Pollock Pines (at least a town that I knew that had gas, fast food, and an escape route close to the freeway from any treacherous, no-teethed, lunatics that might be lurking around as my Mother would have prophesized).  Yes, I am sadly too much of a city-slicker than I would care to admit at this point.
Low and behold, the place was perfect.  It was a recreational area with a lake and camping spots and trails (one that my husband probably knows like the back of his hand, being the California Kid).  I had a wonderful time hiking along a river trail for over an hour, and even got to stick my feet in the lake which was freezing.  I even had a magical moment where a couple of lavender butterflies playfully visited me as I sat taking pictures of the lake.  Somewhere in that moment I felt as if my Creator was sending me a gift.  I had a moment of clarity.  I felt the presence of my ancestors and knew that all was right in the world.

After some time, I hiked back to my car and sat for a while gathering my thoughts.  I had exactly the appropriate drive time back to get my kiddos and not be late.  Phew.  I was sweaty from the exercise and I felt like my soul was nourished.
My crazy adventure took most of the day. But amidst all of the emotional turmoil and panic of the morning, I found the place that I was actually suppose to be at in the end.  And I had a great time telling my Hubby about it when he got home from work.  His repsonse... "You mean you wasted a half a tank of gas to go hiking half way up the mountain when Effie Yaw nature center is right down the street??"  Yes.  He is the yin to my yang.  Lol.  But at least he loves me anyway.

Here are some picks from my hike:

 Happy trails, Everyone.  And Happy Spring!

Bay Area Adventure - Happy Spring!

To begin my quest of focusing on ME time, I decided to take a little mini-trip with my kiddos to the Bay Area.  It has been quite a few years since my Spring Break schedule coincided with their schedule.  So taking advantage of that, I convinced my parents to take an over-nighter to the San Francisco Bay area with us and do some exploring.  Unfortunately, my hubby is part of the vast majority of America who has to drudge to work everyday regardless of Spring or Easter...so we all piled into my "Mom Mobile", waved a tearful (but sarcastic) goodbye to my husband, and jaunted off on our quest.  
Growing up, my parents would do these kind of trips often.  We explored the vast majority of the East Coast while living in Pennsylvania and then Florida.  As a result my history teachers loved me.  So my trip to the Bay was intentionally way more educational than relaxing for my kiddos.

First stop was the USS Hornet in Alameda, CA.  If you haven't visited this museum, it is a must do for the family.  The ship is docked alongside other ships in the old Naval Air Station there.  This was a great first stop on our adventure as my kiddos could wander (and play) throughout this vast jungle gym of a ship, climbing up and down ladders and learning about history and maritime voyages during war time.  Several photo-ops were guaranteed as my kiddos could sit in the cockpit of a fighter jet, stand next to NASA spacecrafts, and literally insert themselves in the galley, bunks, and dining halls of an old Aircraft Carrier.  Awesome hands on learning!

Here we are topside.  Beautiful weather :)

After that, we jaunted over to Fisherman's wharf for a small snack bar lunch and then visited the Exploratorium at Pier 15 for a few hours.  It was fun watching my kiddos dive in to hands on activities geared towards Science, Engineering, and Technology.  This is one place where the "hands off, don't touch" rule is thrown out the window as touching and manipulating things is highly encouraged.  

I love these two pictures, as moments like this where my two girls are getting along and not bickering are rare right now in the saga of sisterhood. 

After driving over the Golden Gate Bridge and settling into a Travelodge near the town of Mill Valley (cheap and minimal is always preferred on these kind of Americana adventures), we ended our evening having a fabulous Italian dinner at Pasta Pomodora (kid friendly, fresh and healthy).  Long but highly enjoyable day was accomplished!

The next morning we drove on a winding but picturesque route to Muir Woods which is a National Park north of the Bay.  This is where I realized that my parenting skills are not like other people's.  I am not quite sure why, but my children cannot peacefully walk through a majestic redwood forest without acting like hooligans.  Yes, they are amusing and entertaining, but they will never be stealth-like hunters and would certainly be ambushed quite easily with their thunderously LOUD behavior.  As other patrons to the forest quietly and peacefully took in the beauty around them carrying their babies in tow with adorable little children quietly walking like ducks in a row, my children on the other hand fought like wild animals over who was going to take pictures, kept hitting each other when my back was turned, and the constant litany of "Mom, Angie did this...Mom, tell Zane to stop...or Mom, Gwen just hit me" drove me to lose my pent up calm demeanor and lash out like a crazy woman in the middle of God's beautiful creation.  So much for calming ME time...

Looks are deceiving...the one moment where they acted normal in nature.

My little animals...GRRRR!

To end the trip, we spent a few hours calming down and enjoying one of the sandy/rocky beaches of Northern Cali at Muir Beach.  Great picnic spot!  Finally, time to be calm and relax before the trek home.   Phew!  I needed it at this point...

Awww, now this is the life :D

So home we went...back to the daily grind.  Wish my hubby could have joined in on this trip, but it was a nice escape and fun for my kiddos to hang out with my parents on a short, but entertaining adventure.  Many laughable moments, lots of walking, lots of seeing and doing, and great weather!

Successful ME time?  Check.  Though I probably need a little vacay after the vacay with the kiddos...

Taking a hiatus to focus on "ME Time"

After two and a half years completing my Master's Degree and finishing up with three choreography projects in a row, it is time for me to take an artistic break for a while.  Living with that much stress has taken its toll on my health both physically and mentally.  I am ready to slow down a bit and have some personal life experience.  I want to do some exploring, reading, and nurturing of my soul.  I haven't been the friendliest person of late, and certainly not the most patient of wives or mothers.  One of the things I have learned after my latest bout of depression is that I have to take care of myself first.  But not only that, I have to LOVE myself first...meaning I deserve to focus on me.  I remember before my husband and my children, back during my college days, my entire day focused on what I wanted and dreamed about doing.  I would go to school, go to work, dance, take naps, read lots of novels, go out with friends, get massages, hang out at the river and go waterskiing...Oh to be young, a size 4 again, and single....
Once I met my husband all of that changed.  I need to be clear that that wasn't his fault in any way.  It just was my dysfunctional codependency making his needs and wants more important so that he would love me.  All the "ME Time" went by the wayside.
Does my husband love me?  Absolutely.  Twenty years have gone by and our love has grown and matured in so many ways after three children, a failed business endeavor, bankruptcy, and the death of loved ones.  But these stresses have torn me down mainly because I didn't take care of me in the process.  I now know that the most important thing is to take a little time out of everyday to nurture my body, mind, and soul.  Only then can I be the woman (mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, teacher, choreographer, and performer) that I truly want to be...someone who is gracious, loving, generous, giving, articulate, confident, and humble.
So that is my mission during my hiatus from project work right now...everyday I am going to do something that nurtures my mind, body, and soul.  So far, today, I worked out, I nested by cleaning my home, I spent time with each of my children, I laid on the couch and cuddled with my husband while watching our favorite TV show, I read a daily passage from my bible, I cooked my family a healthy and delicious dinner, and now I am sharing my thoughts here on this blog...hopefully, paying it forward to someone else who might find insight or comfort in my words.
I hope that any of you out there in Internet Land take time for yourself today, and learn that loving yourself first is what makes you the best person that you can be.

Here is my baby girl Angie and I, laying down for some cuddle time before bed. 

I love this little minx with all of my heart.