My Summer of LOVE

When I was in the midst of depression, where I couldn't see past my own pain or get out of my own head-space, a very dear friend of mine taught me about the "Tiers of Enlightenment."  I do not know where she learned about them or whether the things that she said to me are accurate from the original source, but I like the way that she explained them to me and thought that I would share.

You see, we all live on a Tier...and there are people who are above us and people below us.  We recognize people on our Tier as seeing the world as we do in that moment; maybe they are going through a similar life experience, or they are on the same trajectory of career ambition.  When you look down below you, you see people who have not reached your Tier, you have been where they are but you now have become enlightened.  You however do not "look down" on them, because you are "above" that type of energy.  I should point out that each Tier has nothing to do with age.  People reach Tiers at different paces.  The people who are on the top most Tier are people like Mother Teresa or Gandhi.

The important thing to understand is the only way to move up to the next Tier is to experience something life-changing. It can be an event that is anticipated or heart-wrenchingly unexpected.  It can be of our own choosing, or it can be thrown at us.  The process can often be painful and can feel like you are being reborn, but once you are on that new Tier you understand the world, your existence, and the capacity for love more clearly.  

When my friend explained the "Tiers of Enlightenment" to me, my mind was blown.  It honestly gave me such a complete sense of hope and understanding.  I knew in that instant, that I was going to be okay.  Thank you, my dear friend.  You are an Angel on earth for guiding me on that day.

This summer has been one of the best summers of my life.  I have felt more at peace with my own being.  I have been the most present and in tune with my children and husband.  I have enjoyed every moment we have shared with each other.  I have been reborn.  I am excited to have a world of new sensibilities around me, and I understand where and with whom I want to share my energy.  It has been a summer of LOVE.

I have such love for this world and the possibilities for human compassion.  I now look at the day ahead and ask myself:

How do I learn?  How do I teach?  How do I love?  How do I grow?  How do I help?  How do I share?

Carpe Diem, my friends.  Here's to the last day of my summer vacation!

The View from the Wings

My mission in life is to NOT be a "Stage Mom."  I cringe just thinking about it.  We all know the type...somehow Joan Crawford from "Mommy Dearest" pops in to my head.  I'll let that image sink in for a minute......

So when my girls showed an interest in wanting to dance, my anxiety level rose ten-fold.  How would I navigate being a "Stage Mom?"

Finding a studio for my girls to learn the beauty and art of dance was very difficult actually.  Sometimes it's a bad thing that I know so much about dance.  It took trying three different studios before I found the right one for me and my girls.  And the main point of that last sentence is the right studio for ME.  I had to feel comfortable there. And it had to feel like the right environment for them to grow and explore the art of dance. I wanted it to be about the art and the discipline.  I LOVE my girl's dance studio.  It reminds me of the studios on the East Coast where I learned classical technique.  It feels like home. 

So I watch from the wings, and I help back stage, and I try not to correct them...which is really hard at times.  I leave the corrections to their teachers who are very well trained.  I sometimes participate if they need me.  I appreciate that they let me be involved.

As the music soars through the air and the little ones are lined up ready to go on stage with their frilly costumes and cute little bows in their hair, I watch from the wings as my daughters dance with joy and passion for the audience.  It is an indescribable feeling...almost like magic.  I'm glad that I am able to be there.  And yes, that makes me a "Stage Mom." <big sigh>

Angie waiting backstage for her big entrance.

 Gwen and her classmates getting the jitters out behind the curtain.

Dance in My "little-big" Town

It always amazes me how small the dance world is.  The six-degrees of separation thing really does exist; especially when you find yourself working small gig after small gig to establish your resume in the world of theater and dance.

For myself, my years of gig hopping are over as I have firmly planted my tutu on the shelf and only work within the Sacramento area.

Sacramento is what you might call a "little-big" town when it comes to dance and theater.  We have a professional ballet company, two professional theater companies, and a summer-stock Broadway Musical company. We are privileged to be a stop on the national tour circuit for dance, theater and music.  Not bad for what a lot of people consider a cow town.  These companies only thrive on the support of the community.

 The Sacramento Community Center Theatre

What exists beyond that is a plethora of community theater companies and a few semi-professional dance companies who all try and make a partial living with their passion.  This town's theater and dance scene's history is rooted very deeply for some people and everyone knows everyone by association.  I have seen (and experienced myself) the failure of many of these artistic dreams for a variety of reasons.  The competition can be fierce in a small pond. 

As I sit back and view the artistic scenery, I begin to ponder... is it community or competition?  And what is the difference?  How do we treat each other? How do we support each other? Or do we?  How do we talk about each other? And what does this teach the children that aspire to be like us? What type of community do we see ourselves as? How would we like to see ourselves ten years in the future? How do we make that happen?

The truth of the matter is, I am not going anywhere any time soon.  That tutu is still on a shelf here in this "little-big" town of Sacramento...and yes, I would still like to work here, as do many others.  I do not want to be alone in this endeavor, and I certainly do not consider myself beneath or above the challenge of working with my peers.  I enjoy watching my community with its artistic endeavors, and I hope that they will support me in mine.  Hopefully my community will grow and mature.  More theater and dance is a good thing, and hopefully there will be a little something for everyone.  I am curious how others feel in "little-big" towns like mine.

 

 My dear friend Nolan T'Sani perfoming with the Sacramento Ballet.