The lesson to be learned...

Choreographer, teacher, mentor, director.  All of those titles are positions that I feel truly blessed to be called.  I LOVE what I do for a living.  I love the feeling of creating choreography that feels pure and expressive.  I cherish the moments when I teach someone about dance and open their eyes to something that they've never experienced before.  And the feeling of mentoring a fellow artist helps me feel humble about my craft.  Directing is something that is new and exciting to me; and definitely a work in progress.
I think back to the choreographers, teachers, mentors, and directors who I had the pleasure of working with in my education in dance, and feel truly grateful.  Not only for all the things that they taught me about dance and life in general, but also for putting me in my place when I thought that I knew more than them.  Because that is truly the moment that needs to be learned....how not to be arrogant. 
I think back to myself as a young dancer, when I felt stifled and held back by a teacher or director.  I remember those moments of frustration, thinking "why don't we do this instead?" or "why are we having to do this?"  The truth of the matter is, I was completely missing the point.  There is a hierarchy in dance for a reason and learning from your master and honoring their position is what makes you a better dancer and future choreographer, teacher, mentor or director.  Because people don't want to work around arrogance.  They want to work in a loving and nurturing environment where they feel accepted.  So opening yourself up to others ideas of what dance is and fully committing to let them guide you is what is important; staying humble, and appreciative.  For the master who loves will teach his children to love...

On a mission...

I'm noticing a pattern in my life.  It goes something like this.  Constant schedule, focused and in control, acceleration of speed, high stress, anxiety, emotional outbreaks, out of control speed, loss of control, psychological breakdown, crash, lethargic state, depression, daze, reawaken, back on schedule....cycle repeats.  Can anyone else relate to this???

I'm making a conscious choice to try and break the cycle, or to at least handle the cycle differently.  I'm taking inspiration from the famous blogger Julie Powell of "Julie and Julia" fame, who went on a mission to complete 524 Recipes in 365 days.  I, unfortunately, don't trust myself that I could complete a mission for a whole year.  Call me pessimistic...or realistic, ha.   Rather, I'm going to take baby steps.  I once read that it takes repeating something for 15 days to make it a habit.  I'm banking on that philosophy to complete my challenge.  That way if I succeed at 15 days, then maybe I can continue for more.

So for 15 days I am going to try and meditate.  As this is a completely foreign process for me on the purest sense ( I've studied yoga, have a believe in spiritual faith, am educated in relaxing exercises, etc., but never truthfully practiced meditation on a regular basis)...I know this will be a struggle.  But I'm in a point of my life where I feel a heightened sense of desperation and am hoping that meditation could be my salvation.

So let the mission begin....

Vive L'Art!!!!!

Works of choreography are like your children; something created through blood, sweat, and tears.  They are pieces of your psyche that show the raw, inner flesh of your dreams, desires, and vulnerabilities; on display for the sole purpose of being expressive.  It is sometimes painful, and sometimes glorious.  Regardless, I adore creating choreography!!!!!!!

I'm always intrigued however by other people's reactions to choreography.  Why is it that some choreography is appealing to some and not others?  I admit, there are choreographers I adore, and those that bore me to tears... but I try and be supportive and open-minded when viewing.  I often think of the infamous Paul Taylor work in which the man stands on stage for something like 5 min. doing absolutely nothing...how would I have felt as an audience member viewing such a work?  I've been told that half the audience got up and walked out.  I am now convinced of the mastery and bravery of Paul Taylor.  To put something so controversial on stage and to stand behind the thought process of creating such work so adamantly, blows my mind.

 

Paul Taylor

In the twenty years that I've studied and taught choreography, I've had both successes and failures.  But the question I'm pondering is to whose ideals were those successes or failures?  Truthfully, I very much cared at the time what my audience thought...call me the jazz girl for wanting to be entertaining.  But my mood is shifting of late...truth be told, I'm feeling a little bit pissy.  Who the hell cares whether I create some big statement or not?  Or whether the dancers are all in unison, or whether it's a "masterpiece".  Or whether I'm smart enough, or have had enough education, or if I've studied with this popular choreographer or been to this convention?  Or toured with this company?  Or whatever?????   It's fucking ART!!!!!  It doesn't matter if you're Chopin or my son plinking away on the piano, it's still just black and white keys moving in a rhythm or pattern.  Why do we as artists have to be so high brow????  Watch what dance you enjoy, and be open to broadening your mind for those that you don't.  Enough said.

So as I move forward in the process of creating choreography, I'm channeling the spirit of Paul Taylor....And sticking by my convictions, If you don't like it, you can leave half way through the piece...I will rest assured that I have accomplished my goal, as I still got your money when you walked through the door....Vive l'Art!!!