My New Year Toast

“I am my own biggest critic. Before anyone else has criticized me, I have already criticized myself. But for the rest of my life, I am going to be with me and I don't want to spend my life with someone who is always critical. So I am going to stop being my own critic. It's high time that I accept all the great things about me.” ~ C. JoyBell C.


This just about sums up my world right now.  This quote by the contemporary writer and blogger, C. JoyBell C., hits the nail on the head firmly and squarely.  I've been beating myself up for way to long...and it is time to change my attitude and forgive myself for not being perfect <huge gasp>.  Or in fact, to embrace myself as being absolutely perfect...in my own unique, individual way: flawed, humble, and a little bit OCD. 
This past year has been one of the most challenging of my life.  The failure of a business and the stress of the economics of our times brought me to one of the lowest points that I've ever experienced.  Little Miss Perfectionist has had a difficult time processing all of these burst bubbles.  But the great thing about life is that just when you start becoming a little too self-absorbed, something or someone comes along that puts you in your place.  Only then does the epiphany transpire.  For me, there is such a sense of rebirth, a liberation; shedding the old skin and feeling the fresh, tender, regenerated self bursting forward.  I'm excited for this new phase of discovery and profoundly grateful for this sense of acceptance.  CARPE DIEM!
So a little note to my critics...I am absolutely a REAL person, not a fake one.  I don't know how to be any other way.  If I'm happy, you'll know it.  If I'm angry, you'll know it.  If I'm not talking, it is because I don't know how to.  Simply put.  It takes me time to process emotion, because it is all-consuming for me.  It is maddening, and exasperating, but it at least shows that I care....sometimes, way more than I should.  Those that truly love me don't judge me for this, and for that I feel truly blessed. I'm learning how not to judge others as well, which is easier said than done...hence, one of my flaws.  But now that I've been able to reach the other side of my epiphany, the world seems exciting and new.  So as we celebrate the festivities of the holidays and ring in the new year, I look forward to one with endless possibilities...like turning 40...Yikes!

CASHing in...

One of my main goals as a dance artist is to support and promote dance in my community.  I recently had the opportunity to perform in a local dance company production (the title of which is under wraps for the time being until rights are verifed by estate holders.)  This highly entertaining show was conceived and choreographed by Sunny Staton-Mitchell whom I've had the pleasure of working with previously at the Sacramento Ballet.  Though I only had a small part, I had a blast working with the other dancers and musicians who lent there talents in making the show a success.  This was a refreshing and fun adrenaline shot for my soul :-) Here are a few candid pictures of what transpired from a backstage perspective:

The messy ladies' dressing room

The costume rack.  We all love to wear red crinoline right?

 

Show order listed backstage...just in case...

 

 

Dancers waiting for an entrance

I'm the one in the flowered dress :-)

Peggy and I waiting offstage for our next scene...

The big Swing Dance number performed by such beautiful dancers!

After the Grand Ole' Opry number

Here I am with Peggy Lanza, another dancer that I reconnected 

with from way back in the day...small dance world!

Support dance in Sacramento!!  We have a vibrant and rich dance community here that could use more funding and recognition.  The more we help, the better the landscape...

That's a wrap, folks!