I'm starting to work on my next project. It's a whirlwind of emotions, thoughts, and literally, pieces of color that seem to be floating around my head. I see certain pieces clearly, and other pieces haven't come into focus yet. The past year has been mind-blowing on so many levels. Being a part of Red Bucket Dance Theatre and producing my first full-length art piece was just like the content, an emotional rollercoaster ride. My inner core has been revealed. As I've stated previously this year, the response was amazingly supportive.
Within the process and aftermath, I've come to realize some truths about myself. First and foremost, I'm an artist, and all that entails...I can not control my emotions, I have difficulty with conflict, and I express myself through my medium: dance. Secondly, I'm a mother and somewhat co-dependent. I tend to worry about the feelings and well being of others to a degree that is unhealthy for me. This becomes very apparent when I spend a significant amount of energy trying to appease someone with little or no emotional support in return. Lastly, but most importantly, I am a survivor....I put one foot in front of the other, and blindly work my way towards my next check on my to-do list. No matter what, I know what and who are important in my life.
I believe that this year, for me, was suppose to happen. Sometimes we become too complacent in our lives and need a little hiccup to jolt us into reality. For I am truly blessed. My family and closest friends mean the world to me. They are truthfully my lifeline right now and the only thing that makes sense to me anymore.
I look forward to blogging about the process for this next project. I hope that you enjoy the ride....
